Winter Wonderland

Winter has surely arrived. Couldn't run yesterday because the plows hadn't come through in the morning, so I wanted to try today. It was the first morning of the year with single digit temperatures and wind chills well below freezing--Arizona in two weeks is looking better and better! I felt like a toddler getting ready to go out--luckily I didn't have to go to the bathroom (like a real toddler) after I was totally dressed. It doesn't feel too bad it you have the right clothes on and some hand warmers in your gloves. I even got to try out my new running shoes--they are gore tex to keep my feet dry and have a lot of extra traction on the bottom to help grip the snow. Looking at them, you'd think they were heavy and feel more like hiking boots, but they felt pretty good wearing them. They go high over the ankle, so I had some chafing. Body Glide will take care of that though.

Off to my herceptin treatment. This should make it the last of 2009--and 4 months down with 8 to go. Billy is home and has offered to come with me, as long as it came with a promise of lunch.

A Merry Christmas

The Christmas weekend is almost over and a fun--and busy--time was had by all. Billy got home Tuesday night and Lauren and family Wednesday afternoon. It's been a long time since we've had such a full house. Tommy has grown so big--and is so heavy! He is all over the place. He can crawl fast and has discovered stairs. Going up isn't so hard; going down on his own is not pretty. He certainly is cute though!

With all the family activities, we were certainly busy. I did stay constant and got my running in--10 miles each morning. And a good thing too with all the food that has been around. Today was raining and 40 degrees--not a usual late December day. We ended up with a green Christmas. I certainly don't mind--it keeps the roads clear.

Lauren leaves tomorrow morning. It will certainly seem quiet after that. You forget how much work it is to have a 7 month old in the house. Billy is here for another week. We'll get back into our routine tomorrow though.

Semester Ends!

I can finally breathe! I have posted my grades, so am (almost) officially done for the semester. The last 3 weeks become pretty intense with teaching, grading (and grading and grading and grading), and all the other committee and miscellaneous work of the department. I miss the classes, but it feels good to get everything in. The only structure I make sure I have during this time, other than work, is running. The good thing about going out so early in the morning is that nothing can get scheduled during that time (I doubt anyone else wants 5:00 a.m. meetings!).

Now to focus on Christmas. All the kids will be home by Wednesday night, so we have lots to look forward to. Hopefully Lauren and Andy have been able to dig out of the storm and they can be on their way Wednesday morning. For once it was nice to read about someone else having snow. It looks like we'll have a green Christmas, which is fine with me!

Buffalo Lockjaw

Not a great book, but a great description of what we all look like when outside in the cold and wind! I decided I'd had enough of the treadmill, so took to the outdoors this morning. I only meant to go 5 miles--it was 16 degrees with 20-30 mph winds and snow covered roads, but once I got out, it was too freeing to stop. If you dress correctly, once your face goes numb the cold isn't too bad. The hardest part is when a gust of wind comes and you are running in place.

These roads are not for amateurs, or anyone with screws and rods in their leg (Bob). You have to be careful about the type of snow you are running on--and a shot of bare pavement does not always mean safety. You also have to take turns very wide. Trust me, I've made all the rookie mistakes--even when not a rookie--and have had the scrapes and bruises to show for it. Luckily, I've never broken any bones, which is more than I can say for others I know.

Hopefully we're at the tail end of the lousy weather and the roads will be clear for the weekend!

Passed the test, but how can you run in this?

I had a muga scan this week and passed it with flying colors. My heart efficiency popped back to almost pre-herceptin levels. I may not be able to come back to the states from Canada, but I can run to my heart's content again. The problem is, the weather this week hasn't been very kind to my training. Sixty mph winds with driving rain, sleet and then whiteout snow doesn't make it easy. I have gone to the gym and tried to do the treadmill. For whatever reason, I find it excruciating. I did an hour yesterday, but only 35 min. today. Then I have to jump off and head for the bicycle. As long as I can read, I can ride the indoor bike. I just bring my newspaper and ride. Today though, that wasn't even an option. I knew that, unless I wanted to be on the road for hours, I would have to leave for work early--so I cut my workout short.

It's always an adventure in this weather. Yesterday I had class in the basement of our building. Because we had every type of weather imaginable, including lightening, the power went out. It was pitch black and suddenly all these cell phones were opened up. (I never would have thought of that!) The power was out for a half hour, and it was too dark to even move until the emergency lights went on in the hall. Today, all the schools locally were closed for the storm. I worry about my students driving in it. They're not very experienced drivers, and I know how I wouldn't let my own kids take my car in this weather when they were 19-20 years old. Most of them made it to class this morning though; probably because it was the last day of classes.

This and That

Bob had his second cataract surgery today. He can see distance very clearly, but reading will be a challenge for the next couple weeks until he can get new glasses. He's worn glasses since he was a little kid, so it is new for him. When the kids were little and they'd grab his glasses and pull them off, they'd would run off screaming because daddy disappeared and was replaced by this scary man. Hope they don't all run off crying when they come home for Christmas! :)

Our long run Saturday was through Forest Lawn. We'd gotten a little snow and ice, so it was a a bit of a challenge, but it's probably the last run together for the winter. Bob has a lot of hardware in one leg, so he has to be very careful when it snows. Towards the end of the run, a race through the cemetery started. We got out of the way.

The bad weather is to start this week--45 mph winds and rain, sleet and snow. We've been lucky so far. You knew it couldn't last forever. Last week of classes and we've only had 6 inches of snow until tonight.

Off to the doctor tomorrow for a new muga scan. I hope the results are improved so I can resume treatment. Don't know where we go if it hasn't improved. These treatments are really important in keeping the cancer at bay.

So Over Winter

Winter has finally arrived in WNY; I am officially ready for spring! We had two snowfalls this week and the temperatures have turned sharply colder. We knew it was coming, but it is still a shock to my system at least. Now the running gets harder--not only cold and wind to deal with, but slippery roads most days. I also have to alter my routes, since the sidewalks are generally covered with snow and ice. In this weather I am usually cold all the time, but somehow I can shut off that part of my brain when I run. I put little heat warmers in my gloves to keep my hands warm and the rest of me seems not to feel the cold so much. As soon as I stop running though, I get very cold again.

One more week of classes to go for this semester so it means only one thing--grading--morning, noon and night. How fast this semester has gone.

Uncovering

Today was the official unveiling of my head (hair) at school. I wasn't sure the students would recognize me--none of them this semester had seen me without my hat. No one seemed thrown, though several mentioned it.

Hair re-growth is an interesting thing. Last time it grew back, it was pure white and tight, tiny springs (ringlets). It looked much fuller. This time it grew back very straight and baby fine. It reminded me of Billy's short hair when he was about 3 years old. It doesn't fill in nearly as well; I've had to work hard to get it to curl some to give it body. It was a mixture of brown and white though. I'm not sure what accounts for the changes.

First day of December and the first day of snow for the year. There was about 4 inches of wet snow on the ground this morning, so I wimped out and went to the gym where I cycled. I just can't get on the treadmill. I feel the worst day outside is better than the best day inside on a treadmill. Oh well, my body probably needed the break.

post-Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is over and the kids are back where they belong. We had such a nice weekend, but it goes too fast. We didn't even get to see all of the in-town family. Bob and I did skip our long weekend run to have breakfast with Becky, a great friend from middle school, and her husband, David. I could talk for hours about Becky and my relationship. By the time we were 13 she knew more about me then probably anyone except Bob. I did get my run in anyway before meeting up with them.

Had to drive to Cleveland yesterday to take Billy to his ride the rest of the way back to Michigan. At least it gave me a chance to get a lot of work done. Three weeks to go in the semester and a ton of grading to do. When will I learn to assign less? I'm sure the students wouldn't mind! There is just so much they need to know and be able to do; I can't back off.

Bob had cataract surgery today on one eye, with the other next week. Seems like we spend much of our time at doctor's offices! I'm sure we are the insurance company's nightmare. Luckily they have been wonderful about approving all of the procedures.

Now on to the push toward Christmas. It will be hard to get organized until the semester is over--grades are due on December 21. Full speed ahead until then!

Run and Eat

We had another nice day for Thanksgiving. Perfect for joining about 11,000 friends on a little run. I started with a pre-turkey trot around the neighborhood, then Bob, Billy and I ran the real thing in Buffalo. It has grown into such a huge, must-do event. It's a great way to start the day, and at 50 degrees, it was easy to be out there this year. Too bad Kathy and John missed it. They've done so many, but it's usually cold and rainy or snowy.

Turkey dinner was excellent as usual--my favorite meal of the year. Even though there were only 5 of us, we still managed to eat a lot. The rest of the day was pretty low key. We had family Wii tournaments and then went to see The Blind Side. How many other Michael Ohers are out there who don't get his opportunity? And what happens to them?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Can't believe tomorrow is Thanksgiving already. We will have a small table this year--only 5 of us. The food will be just as tasty, though we'll miss Lauren and Andy--and Tommy's first Thanksgiving :-(, and Kathy and John and crew. We will try to keep the same traditions.

The longest continuous footrace is the Buffalo Turkey Trot--5 miles down Delaware Ave. This is the 114th running of it, and my 15th straight. I started running when Bob wanted to run the 100th one. I raced last year (2nd in age, just like every race last year), but am just going to have fun and run with Bob and Billy. This is the only day of the year that Billy runs. It's actually more fun running slowly and looking around at all the people in costumes and silly things going on. Lindsay will be on the course with a sign she made, cheering us on. I'll probably do 5 miles around the neighborhood first. As soon as we get home, the turkey goes in and the eating begins.

We have lots to be thankful for this year. It hasn't always been easy, but I try to keep what is important at the forefront and let go of that which isn't. Just try not to waste any of your life complaining or being sad. There are too many good things going on. Everyone is happy and healthy right now, or on the mend (Dad). I have lots of very caring people trying to keep me healthy. We have an adorable grandbaby and one on the way--and I'm sure he/she will be just as adorable (and Lindsay is just as adorable and more helpful than Tommy-okay Lingo?). Two of the kids are self-sufficient and we have a wonderful son-in-law addition. Billy is doing well in school and loving it--just like he should. We are also lucky ,with amazing extended family on both sides. I also feel like a rarity in that I have a great job with wonderful colleagues and students. Plus, lots of people are helping me raise money for Roswell, and for that I'm very grateful. More good things then can ever be stated.

Beautiful Autumn Weekend

Another beautiful weekend in Buffalo--it almost makes up for the crummy summer--but not really. Too bad the Bills, once again, had to spoil the end of the weekend.

I love the weekend runs when Bob and I go out together. We've explored so many trails and towns that I would never do on my own (partly for safety sake, partly because I'd get hopelessly lost). This weekend's run took us through South Buffalo. I highly recommend running as a way to see the area. It's faster than walking so you can cover a lot more ground, but not too fast that you miss the sights. You just have to be careful, though, not to trip over a bump in the road or sidewalk (I have experience!). Anyway, we started in the industrial area, worked our way through the park and ran through some nice, tidy neighborhoods. The changing (and different from usual) scenery allows me to run without headphones.

Next weekend is not looking so good weather-wise, but we do have the Turkey Trot on Thursday morning. The most enjoyable part is making Billy get up to run and Lindsay getting up to cheer us on.

I spent a couple hours this morning planning for the comedy club fundraiser. Katie is so helpful and brainstorming with Marilyn, who has experience, and Tammy--so smart and clever--will assuredly make the evening a success. I'm really excited about some of the ideas. Hopefully we can get donations for some great baskets. I'm more worried about selling 125 tickets, but they seem to think that will be easy. I trust them!

Generosity

I am amazed at the generosity of family, good friends, acquaintances, and people I do not yet know. There are people helping with the fundraiser at Rob's Comedy Playhouse--planning and creating theme baskets. Several out of town family and friends have promised to come to the event (as long as the weather holds up). Greek Life on campus helping with my bottle deposit collections. Desiree and Zoe have a lot to do keeping up with school and re-naming/chartering their sorority, but still offering to help me out. Colleagues who have become good friends, neighbors on my street, people I do not know or have met a couple times but who know of me have all been donating money to my Roswell website (http://giving.roswellpark.org/netcommunity/kimtruesdell). I am truly humbled by this support. Running the marathon will be much easier knowing all these people are behind me.

Good luck to dad who had knee replacement surgery yesterday. You have 7 months of rehab. so you will be able to walk around San Diego cheering for all of us running the marathon and/or relays. Maybe you'll feel so good you'll want to join us! :-)

Cancer 101: What Not to Say

I've been asked why now. After all these years of privacy, why am I going so public. I guess when something is important enough, you set a goal and do what you need to meet the goal. It won't be easy to raise $5000, but with the help of a lot of people, I will be successful.

I think, though, the real question is why I've kept so private. I guess partly it's because I'm a private person. I also wanted to keep a sense of normalcy for my kids, especially when they were younger. My illness didn't need to interfere with their lives. Another reason was to prevent others from being uncomfortable--or making me uncomfortable. I suppose it is difficult to know what to say or what to do for someone who is obviously going through treatment. If one is unsure what to say, I would recommend saying nothing. A simple "how are you doing?" and really meaning it (rather than just as a passing phrase) would be nice. "You look really good," again sincerely, even though we all know I don't. Just treating me like anyone else is the best strategy. If my family didn't continue to make fun of my foibles, I would feel bad.

What not to say? "I can't believe you have the nerve to wear that!" a few days after a mastectomy, while looking disapprovingly at my shirt--trust me, you can't tell. "You're lucky you're still alive. My (fill in the blank with a person) died..." "I'm glad it's you since you handle pain a lot better than me." I really doubt it. "If you die tomorrow, you'll have no regrets." These are all comments I've heard (some more than once) from well-meaning friends.

The best thing someone did was my sister who sent me the ugliest thing she could find every week of my treatments--for 10 months. We really looked forward to Wednesday to see the new "present". My sister-in-law and her three kids were so kind, but treated me absolutely normally--not something you can describe. I think it is just the way they always are. My neighbor who brought dinner for my family on the night, 3 days after each chemo., when she knew that was the night I wouldn't feel up to cooking. Just little words or actions, or nothing at all, is best. Don't try to force anything.

Extreme Makeover and deerfoot

Bob and I like to run 10 milers on the weekend when the weather is decent. It has been a great way to explore the paths and roads of Western New York. We're always up for suggestions, so if you have a great route, let me know.
We've had a bonus November because it has been so beautiful. Since Extreme Makeover Home Edition is in town, we decided to check out the house on Saturday. The show has had an unprecedented 5000+ volunteers, so they were not only able to build a house for the chosen family, they were also able to side and re-roof most of the houses on the block, fix porches and sidewalks, put in a community garden, etc. We couldn't get right up to the house--it was he morning to "move that bus" and there was still a lot of work going on. It was great to see so many people out so early in the morning though. It did make me sad for the people just outside the block who did not have their homes worked on. Hopefully it will be the start of a revitalization of the community. It' only a couple miles from Buffalo State, so we need that area healthy.
From there though we ran through Forest Lawn Cemetery. I'd always heard it was a great place to run, and it was. Miles of peaceful road with no traffic. This was not a day to run for time (as I'm not allowed to right now), but a day for looking around. There were a lot of people there who lived at the turn of the century (early 1900s) when Buffalo was in its heyday (the most millionaires in the country). I loved visualizing what their lives might have been like. There was an amusement park across the lake in Canada (before Crystal Beach)--you can see the remnants on our run last week. Ferries took people over from the the city. It must have been so vibrant back then.
There are many notable people in Forest Lawn--Millard Fillmore, Red Jacket, Rick James, but my favorite was Deerfoot. He set world records for running for 5 and 10 miles. Naturally I had to look him up when I got home--he's from Calgary, Canada and spent most of his life in jail, but once ran 84 miles in 16 hours. I can see how he got his name.

AJ Collins, marathon buddy

AJ Collins, my 20 year old nephew, should be receiving his marathon training schedule this weekend. He is a busy college student, but has decided to try to take on this challenge. He's been a lifelong soccer player, but not necessarily a runner, though he did win his age group the one time he entered the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. It's incredibly thoughtful that he would do this as he barely knows me. He's lived 3000 miles away, in Southern California, his entire life. He's now a student at Otis College of Art and Design in LA. I think he wants to be a sculptor. I've seen some of his artwork--it's pretty amazing.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised he would want to try this. He has been active in other ways. AJ has twice donated his hair to Locks of Love. He's also been the captain of his Relay for Life four times through high school and college. That's dedication. Now his biggest challenge might be how to get out of the studio and onto the roads to train. I have a feeling it might be a little easier for a 20 year old to get by on minimal training than someone my age. He also won't have to look out his window in the morning in January and February (and March and April and December!) and decide if he can get through the ice and snow.
Good luck AJ--I know you can do it. (And get moving Kelley, his mom; it's almost time to get started on the 10K relay training.)

Failed test

I thought I was done worrying about scores on tests long ago, but I only got a 52 on my last one. To prevent recurrance of this latest cancer, I take herceptin as an infusion every three weeks for a year. One of the side effects of the drug is heart damage (mostly temporary). That is the reason for the regular muga scans (and radiation in my body). A muga scan looks at how much blood pumps out of your heart during each heartbeat. Mine has been very high--my heart efficiently pumps the blood out. This last muga scan though showed a drop in the blood pumping, sufficiently so that I could not have the herceptin infusion. It is still in the normal range (though it previously was high), so it's not a worry. I can still run, though can't work on increasing the intensity (speed). Since I've just built up the distance after surgeries and treatment, I'm pretty slow--and I guess that's how I'll stay for now. With this break the heart should go back to its previous functioning. I'll have another scan in a month and then should be able to restart the herceptin.

Radioactive

It was a beautiful morning today and Bob and I were both off work for Veteran's Day. We decided to go up to Canada and run the trail along the river and lake and then into the woods. We parked by the Peace Bridge and took off--5 miles out and 5 back. There wasn't a crowd at the border, so it seemed we should be through customs in 15 minutes. As soon as we pull up to the agent's booth, he asks "Have either of you had a medical procedure in the last 30 days?" I thought that an odd question. I had to think a minute, then admit I have had ongoing medical procedures. Turns out, I am very radioactive and set off all sorts of alarms. They pulled us over--my first time ever--and made us go inside for further something. I'm still not sure what it all was. They brought out a gieger counter, pointed it at me, and it started going crazy. They then had to find out what my medical procedure was. I told them--I'd had a MUGA scan yesterday--it's a heart test (heart damage is a side effect of another medicine I take to prevent recurrance of the most recent cancer). To do the scan they give me a shot of radioactive material. I'm not sure how much they were able to find out, but it doesn't make me real confident of the HIPPA laws. They also had to take the car through the machine again to make sure there was no other radioactive material. At that point they had our passports and car keys--made me a little nervous--but their punishment was having to go in our car after we'd just run 10 miles! There were smelly towels and clothes in the car. After more then an hour, I guess the customs' officials determined we were not dangerous.

Since I'll be having these scans regularly through next summer, I guess I won't be going back to Canada anytime soon.

The beginning

I guess this is the start. I have until June 6, 2010 to train for the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon and to raise $5000 for Roswell Park Cancer Institute in Buffalo, NY. For background on why I am doing this, check out the following article from the October 31 Buffalo News:
www.buffalonews.com/185/story/845279.html

I have a website set up for donations at
http://giving.roswellpark.org/netcommunity/kimtruesdell

More fun though for all in the Buffalo area--on February 28 I am having a fundraiser at Robs Comedy Club inside Dandelions Restaurant in Williamsville. For $25 you get 2 drinks and an evening of comedy. We'll also have theme baskets to auction.

100% of the money raised will go to the Breast Center at Roswell. I am paying all my race expenses.

I am excited about raising the funds for my oncologist in the breast center. One of the medicines I take is an aromatase inhibitor--it's to prevent one of the cancers from recurring. One side effect of the drugs is severe joint pain. Many women suffer terribly from this. Thankfully, I have had no side effects. Dr. O'Connor has noticed that her patients who are even moderately active have much fewer symptoms. We have agreed that she will use the money I raise to begin a research study on the effects of exercise and side effects of aromatase inhibitors. Since so many people are living after their cancer diagnosis, it is very important to look at quality of life issues. I have been lucky to have very few side effects and aftereffects--I attribute a lot of it to exercise, though I don't advocate most people doing as much as I do!

Anyway, this is the start--and I'm ready to succeed.